


as a straight guy

by Anonymous



Category: Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M, No HEA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:14:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24180406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Noah is a straight guy
Relationships: Dan Levy/Noah Reid
Comments: 26
Kudos: 26
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

Noah was sitting at his kitchen table when he heard his phone buzz several times before he absentmindedly picked it up and looked at the notifications. 6 incoming messages with attachments from Dan. He frowned at the phone in his hand when it buzzed again. Clare looked over from the counter where she was making coffee, ‘Someone is insistent. Who is that?’. Noah hoped she didn’t see him flush, but when he looked up her back was to him as she was putting away the milk. ‘Uh, just Amy, she has some last minute questions about the video’. Clare smiled, ‘This video is going to be huge. Bigger than the last one. Everyone is going to love it, love you. And that's what it's all about, isn't it? I have to get ready for work.' She walked upstairs and he heard the door to the bathroom close and the shower go on.

He walked to the back deck and opened the first message. It was a picture of him and Dan in front of the billboard, the one they didn’t post on Instagram. Dan was leaning against the car and Noah was hugging him, his lips on his neck, with Dan’s hand on the back of his head. Noah frowned. There was no message, just the picture. He opened the second attachment. It was a picture of him and Dan from the Season 5 wrap party, again, not posted to Lucky’s Instagram. Noah was on Dan’s lap, very drunk, looking into his eyes, singing ‘Always be my baby’. It was cut out of the picture, but Clare and Amy were sitting right next to them, laughing and singing along. He thumbed open the third attachment. It was a picture of Noah and Dan hugging in Italy, after the Emmy announcement. Clare actually took this picture. Again, much more intimate then the one posted to Instagram and seen around the world. ‘Fake boyfriends’. Noah sat down on the first step of the deck and opened the next attachment. It was a picture of Noah and Dan on set the last day kissing. Not David and Patrick. It was Dan and Noah, in their character’s wedding outfits, kissing, holding each other’s faces, as Noah had his final scene. They didn’t show this in the documentary. The next attachment was later that night, a picture of them in the booth at the bar, taken by Andrew. Noah had never seen it. They were not looking at each other. Dan was looking at the glass in his hands, Noah’s eyes were closed as he leaned his head back and ran his hand through Dan’s hair. They looked content. A tear formed in Noah’s eye. The next text was just words. No picture. ‘As a straight guy.’ Noah winced. The article just had come out. Dan saw the article. He opened the final attachment and gasped. Noah and Dan, in each other’ arms, in Dan’s bed. Their bodies completely entwined, the sheets messy, down around their waists their bare chests close together. Noah was rubbing his thumb across Dan’s full lower lip. Dan was looking deep into Noah’s eyes, a hint of that trademark smirk could be seen. Their hair was messy, their lips pink and raw from so much kissing. This was from February. The night of his LA show. Stacey had shown up with breakfast for the two men. She had a key of course, to Dan’s house. She didn’t knock on Dan’s bedroom door out of habit, just walked in quietly, so as not to wake Dan up, looking at her phone as she did. Before she had a chance to open her mouth, she saw the two men together. She almost gasped, but the image before her was so surprising, but was it really, and so beautiful, she must have hastily snapped a picture before she had jumped on the bed like a crazy woman, snuggling between them and telling them to wake up for pancakes and mimosas. Noah had never seen this picture before. He thumbed back to the previous text. ‘As a straight guy.’ Noah put his head in his hands. He let out a groan that sounded suspiciously like ‘the noise’. The noise he teased Dan about that he kept making on set last year. The noise of keeping in all your feelings so they don't fall on the floor In front of you and ruin your well crafted, comfortable life. As he was staring at the screen, another message popped up. ‘It’s over, I’m done.’ Noah looked up at the sky and bit his lip. He got up after awhile, rubbed his hands on his pants to clean off the dust and went inside.


	2. as a straight guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah is a straight guy. Dan's POV.

Dan sent one final text to Noah and threw his phone on the bed. The bed where he fucked that straight guy into the mattress just a couple of months ago. He walked into the bathroom to relieve himself. The bathroom where that straight guy sucked him off in the shower like a top tier porn star a couple of months ago. He walked out onto the deck and dove into the slightly warm water of his pool and started doing laps. The pool where he rimmed that straight guy until he was crying, crying out his name, the lord's name and the mother of the lord's name thrown in for good measure, a couple of months ago. After a few laps, Dan rested his arms on the edge of the pool and looked out over the city. He felt numb. No more passive aggressive Mariah Carey or Fiona Apple songs on his Instagram stories. No more retweets of adorable pictures of David and Patrick, no more text chains with the straight guy's fiancee pretending to give a shit about his music videos or his concerts or his postponed wedding. Fool me once, fool me twice. Fool me ten times, I'm a fucking idiot. Dan floated in his beautiful pool in his beautiful house in his beautiful city for a long time. He got out of the pool and toweled off. He poured out some food for Redmond. He poured himself a glass of wine. He opened his laptop and answered a few emails from his agent, from Shana, from his aunt. He sat back and took a long sip of his favorite Tuscan red. He sighed. Would there be a day when almost everything in his life doesn't remind him of Noah in some way? He certainly hoped so. He shut his laptop and opened the novel he was reading. He read a few pages, then sighed.

He looked at the sparking cityscape in front of him and all he could think about was this. He hoped that Noah could look at those pictures and figure some stuff out about himself. But he was done trying. No more.

He took a sip of wine and went back to his novel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short epilogue. Dan's done.


	3. as a straight guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah is straight, in case you haven't heard. Another Interview.

Dan was on a roll. He was in his third hour of writing. He hasn’t felt this productive in over a week. He sat back and drank some water when his phone buzzed. He looked down. Emily. 

He swiped it open.

Emily: Did you see it?

Dan: See what?

A few seconds later she sent a link to ET Canada. He watched the two-minute video and rolled his eyes. He hadn’t see it because he turned off all notifications for his name. 

Dan: Eyeroll emoji. Man/Woman holding hands emoji.

Emily: Vomit emoji

Dan: Laughing emoji

Emily: Link to video of Avenue Q song If you were gay.

Dan spit out the water he was drinking and almost choked.

Dan: Link to gif of Neil Patrick Harris saying Stop it.

Emily: Link to I’m not gay but my boyfriend is t-shirt. Birthday present for him??

Dan: Link to gif of Dorothy from the Golden Girls ‘Enough Already’. 

Emily: Ok, Ok. Sorry.

Dan: It’s fine. 

Emily: Are you ok? Seriously.

Dan hesitated before typing.

Dan: Not yet. But I will be. At the very least this is definitely giving me a lot of inspiration. I am writing more than I have in a long time.

Emily: I can’t wait to hug you.

Dan smiled at the phone.

Dan: Me too. 

Emily: Call me later?

Dan: Absolutely. Love you.

Emily: I love you too.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from a recent quote in a recent interview


End file.
